


Scenes of what could have been

by Velocity_Owl87



Category: Outlander (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Introspection, Rebuilding, Reconciliation, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23683249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velocity_Owl87/pseuds/Velocity_Owl87
Summary: AU in that Frank and Claire reconcile and end up having a child of their own, creating a different dynamic and allowing them to have a wholly different life than they would have otherwise. A life that when it ends, leaves it's mark on Claire. Much more than she had ever expected.
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp & Original Character(s), Claire Beauchamp/Frank Randall
Comments: 12
Kudos: 24





	Scenes of what could have been

**Author's Note:**

> So I basically fell for TV Frank. Tobias Menzies is damned good at what he does and he made Frank less of a cardboard stock character and more of a man trapped in a difficult situation that he tried to fix, but just couldn't. He was human and he tried his best as he knew how. 
> 
> This was my AU examination of what if he had been able to get his heart's desire and what another child would have meant for the Randall family. I love Jamie and his dynamic and love with Claire, but this was my curiosity going down what if. Also my take on whether Frank would have been far more mellow if he had a kid.

The doctor was smiling at them and although Claire knew she was being rude, she couldn't bring herself to smile back. Beside her, Brianna shuffled on the chair and Claire absentmindedly gathered her up closer to her. She relished the warm weight of her daughter at her side. More than Frank's hand wrapped around hers. 

"If only it had been seven years earlier." She couldn't help but to think. Then, horrified at her thinking, she banished the thought and focused on the doctor, who was watching her expectantly. 

Frank squeezed her hand and Claire cleared her throat once she realised that she had been asked a question. 

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? My mind seems to have wandered a bit there." Claire apologised, giving both the doctor and Frank a watery smile. She hoped that they would take it to mean that she was already planning for this unexpected, yet much wanted change in their lives. 

To her relief, the doctor smiled indulgently as he addressed her again. 

"I simply was saying that we will keep a close eye on your pregnancy to make sure that things are going well with not just you, but the baby as well. Since you are of an advanced age." 

Claire winced at that, prompting Frank to squeeze her hand again in sympathy. She couldn't refute that the pregnancy with Brianna had been hard. And she wasn't exactly a young girl to give birth easily. 

Even though she knew that wasn't insurance from a childbirth death. She had seen far too much proof of it during her 18th century stay. Too many young women and babies had been lost to infections and lack of medical care. It would be a struggle here, but with the best doctors, she could at least count on not being another statistic in the record books. 

"I know it isn't something that you want to hear, but it is worth keeping the possibilities in mind. You're strong and healthy and have a good family with you, Mrs Randall. You should be fine."

The doctor turned to look at Frank, a clear dismissal if there was any and Claire focused on Brianna, who was looking up at her solemnly. 

"Mama?" She asked, her dark blue eyes wide and wondering as she did so. 

Claire let go of Frank's hand and picked her up, hugging her tightly. 

"Don't worry, Bree darling. Everything is fine." Claire promised, kissing her daughter's face. 

"You will have a little brother or sister soon, that's all." Claire explained, despite Briana being too young to understand. She was only four, and it may be futile, but Claire felt it important to prepare her for what was to come. 

Hopefully a new sibling and renewed peace in the house. 

Hopefully a way to move on as well. 

Even if it did hurt her heart a bit to admit that it would be for the best if that was to happen. 

Jamie was dead. But Frank was here. Her life was here and that was all that she could handle at that moment. 

~*~*~*~*

Claire could tell that things had changed between herself and Frank with the news of the child. 

He was home much more often, making Claire wonder why she hadn't noticed how late he worked until now. How much he touched her now and how quickly the twin bed set was gone, despite Frank himself being the one that had decided on getting the set in the first place. 

"Are you sure we should get rid of them?" Claire had asked dubiously, a hand cradling her ever growing belly as Frank sat down on the bed and bounced on it a few times. The image of him doing that reminded her of their holiday almost ten years prior. Had it really been that long ago?

She pursed her lips and deliberately shied away from those thoughts. That wound was still too tender to even glance over. So she firmly focused on the here and now and Frank's pleased hum as he smoothed the bedspread.

"I'm sure. Things have changed, Claire. And I feel that this child could give us another fresh start. The kind that we couldn't quite reach with Briana." 

Claire felt a small surge of anger and was about to snap at him, but decided to not bother once she had really examined his tone and words. 

Frank wasn't being antagonistic. He was being honest and earnest. The lines around his mouth were straight and his eyes were dark with emotion. He wasn't trying to rile her up or pick a fight. He really did think that this was the best thing to do to rekindle what they had. 

"I made a promise to you, Claire. And I intend to keep it. So I'm asking to try again. To make this work. Will you let me?"

Claire sighed. It had been a godsend being with him. As independent as she was, after the hard pregnancy and the bouts of depression that had come more often than not after Brianna's birth, having Frank at her side had made a difference. She counted on having him there, a solid touchstone as she navigated not only her moods, but also the painful loss of not being with Jamie ever again. 

It lessened the pain. With time and with seeing Briana grow and Frank fill in the void of a father. They were perfect for each other and she couldn't and wouldn't ever begrudge Frank taking on that role. Frank loved Briana as his own and she was all too aware he was a rare man to do so. 

She was sure that he would have been happy with only Brianna as their child. Yet nature had followed through and they were expanding their family. The new baby...Claire still couldn't explain how that had happened. 

All she knew was that it was an impulse born out of a momentary moment of loneliness. She was missing Jamie. Missing her life with him and Frank was there, letting her cling to him in the darkness. Giving her the comfort that she so desperately craved.

Letting her lay her head on his chest and the next thing she knew, they were kissing. Slowly at first. Then passionately, both of them remembering how it used to be when they had first gotten married. 

It was still a very shadowy and soft-edged memory when she tried to recall that night. And the others that followed after. So much so that she had stopped trying to remember. They had the same kind of haziness that the memories of her life with Jamie started to have, so she saw no point in forcing them to make some kind of sense.

Right now, what she knew was that Frank had been patient and had given her the comfort she needed as she grieved. He had stayed with her and hadn’t pried. Maybe it had started out as an honour situation, him staying with her. But as time had passed and Brianna had grown, and now with this child...She was starting to see that they could try and keep on building something other than a duty bound marriage. 

It wasn’t going to be the same vision that they had when they had first been married. Nothing would ever be the same between them. But they could try and make something new. And if he was willing to bridge that gap, well...

"Yes Frank. I will." 

His face creased into that megawatt smile that had made her breath catch the first time she had seen it and for once, the ghost of Jamie Fraser was not there. 

~*~*~*~*~

It took a while to meet each other halfway, but it was easier with Claire making up her mind to actually let Frank in and emerge from her grief and aloofness. She still mourned Jamie, but it wasn't the focal point of her existence. Nor did she try and fill the gap with the minutiae of daily life and taking care of Briana. 

Briana, who was excited over the arrival of a new sibling and who talked non-stop about being a big sister and taking care of this new arrival. Claire encouraged the talk. Especially after she had seen how Frank's face would soften at the childish talk. 

"Were you afraid she wouldn't accept having a sibling?" Claire asked as they lay in bed together, with Frank's hand pressed up against her large belly, both of them relieved at the movement under Frank's hand. 

She hadn't told him about Faith. She couldn't. 

Despite her desire to be honest with him and leave the past where it belonged, Faith was simply too painful to talk about. Her loss still was a deep ache in her soul and she wasn't keen to ever bring it to light. She only let herself breathe a sigh of relief when this new child moved. And even when it was at an inconvenient or painful time, she never complained. 

She was grateful for the chance to have this child. Thankful that there was still a tie between herself and Frank. A way to reconnect and develop a life together. It may not have been perfect, but it would be theirs, free from ghosts.

"I was. She has been the only child for five years. Some children don't do well with change." He paused when the baby kicked again and he smoothed a hand down Claire's belly, hoping to calm them. 

"At the risk of sounding like that mother, I think Brianna is better than that. I mean didn't you see how she was when we were making up the nursery?" Claire asked, breathing a sigh of relief when the baby squirmed, but didn't kick again. Frank smiled and nodded. 

"That was very sweet of her to give up her bear. Even if she didn't have to." Frank agreed, moving closer to Claire. 

"I must admit I am going by horror stories of colleagues and students. Maybe some of them seemed to not get along well with their siblings. Or they had to step in and separate their own children." 

Claire made a soft sound of agreement at that. "Not everyone has that. Some siblings get along really well."

She couldn't help but to think of Jenny and Jamie and how they got along and she found herself hoping that her own children would have the same kind of relationship as they did. They fought, had disagreements, but ultimately were there for each other no matter what. It wasn't perfect, but it was as close to perfect as Claire could imagine. 

Frank huffed out an agreement and turned to face Claire. In the light, his eyes were soft and shadowed, and Claire found herself responding in kind. She moved closer to him, letting him wrap an arm around her middle. 

"Let's hope that's the case with them then."

~*~*~*~*~

Claire found herself unable to look away from the small, perfect face of her second child. He was still red faced and sort of squished looking from his entry into the world. But she could see the hints of Frank in him in the fine bridged nose and the dark fuss on his scalp. He hadn't opened his eyes yet, still too tired to do so, but she was willing to bet they would be Frank's warm hazel. 

She didn't think she would ever feel the same overwhelming love for a child as she had done with Brianna before. In fact, she hadn't ever thought she would ever feel that way about a child of Frank's and it took her breath away. She hadn't believed it was possible, but here she was, cradling this child who was both her and Frank's and all she knew was love for him. 

A fierce, protective love that was different, yet as strong as it had been with Brianna. 

She felt tears prickling at her eyes as she brushed a careful thumb across that petal soft cheek, making him yawn widely and open his eyes. 

"Oh!" Claire exclaimed, shocked and pleased at seeing the same shade of warm sherry brown as hers looking up at her. For once, she left a tangible part of herself in her children and made her heart overflow even more with love for this child. Her son.

She kept stroking his little face as they both stared at each other, taking in each other's faces and committing them to memory. She felt a few tears slip, but she hastily brushed them away. Even though they were happy tears, she didn't want for them to stain his little face. 

"I never thought I would be here with you. Never planned for it, to be honest. But I am glad that you are here with me. With us. I love you. And I hope that you will always know how much I and your father and your sister love you." 

"Claire?" 

She looked up in time to see Frank and Brianna poke their heads into the room. Brianna bounded over to the bed, eager to meet her new sibling, while Frank was slower, his face still, but his eyes burning brightly in his face. 

"You're just in time. He's woken up." Claire whispered, her voice slightly hoarse with emotion. 

"He?" Frank asked in a shaky voice, his Adam's apple bobbing furiously up and down as he looked down at his son. 

It had been a similar transformation of awe and wonder as he had when he had been handed Brianna. But this...This was different. Frank’s emotions spilled over as he kept on looking at his son, his heart too full to say anything more.

"I have a little brother?" Brianna piped in, her glee and wonder evident as she carefully smoothed the edge of the blanket back to see more of him. 

"You do. Brianna, Frank, meet Alexander."

“Alexander?” Frank asked hoarsely, looking up at her. “Why Alexander?”

Claire shrugged. “It felt right for him. It’s a classic name and a family one?”

Frank looked puzzled for a moment before he nodded. “There was an Alexander Randall in the family. Was there one in yours? I am ashamed to admit that I never thought to ask until now.”

Claire swallowed. “There was. An uncle in France.”

“Ah. Yes. Of course.” Frank murmured, getting closer to touch Alexander’s head. 

Claire was sure that Frank was only humoring her, but she appreciated the gesture all the same. 

“Then yes, it would be a perfect name for him. May I suggest a middle name?”

Claire nodded. “Of course. He is your son after all.”

“Wolverton. I’d like him to have it.” Frank replied. “Alexander Wolverton Randall.”

Claire smiled. “It fits him.”

She wasn’t lying. It did fit him. Even if it was a name associated with a man long gone, a man whose ghost was now at peace and in the past.

Where he belonged.

~*~*~*~*~

Claire paused in her assigned reading, her attention caught by the happy voices that floated over to her through the open kitchen window. A smile curved her lips upwards as she recognized the voices. Getting up from the kitchen table, she went to the window and watched Alex, Bree, and Frank running around the yard. 

Alex and Bree were the loudest, squealing and laughing as Frank chased them around, his tie flapping as he chased the children. The game was an old favourite, Frank chasing the children until they were exhausted and all of them would head on inside for supper. 

It had been that way ever since Claire had broached the decision to go to medical school with Frank's blessing. 

She still was thanking her good fortune that Frank had pushed her when she had found herself at odds and close to the breaking point in the domestic sphere. Raising her children and being a Boston housewife wasn’t enough and Frank understood. And had been the main reason for him pushing her to pursue her dreams.

"It's what you need to do, Claire. Stop debating it and go." Frank had stated matter of factly as he had leaned against the door frame and watched as Claire dithered over the paperwork necessary for her admission. 

"Are you sure, Frank? I mean with Bree and Alex being so young..." Claire wanted to go to school. She desperately wanted it. But she also didn't want to leave her children at the mercy of housekeepers and babysitters. 

"They're not toddlers, Claire. Nor are they completely wild. I can always have them in my office. We don't have to worry about a nanny or a babysitter. It's all sorted. Now fill out your forms."

He came over and pushed the half finished application towards her. 

"Thank you Frank." 

He had smiled at her and had opened his mouth to say something when Alex and Brianna called out for him, leaving whatever it was unsaid. 

She hadn't ever found out what he wanted to say, Claire realized, watching them play. She wondered what it was when Frank looked up from swinging Alex around and caught her eye. He smiled and she waved, all thoughts of what could have been said forgotten. 

~*~*~*~*

"You couldn't do it earlier, could you?" Roger asked later. Much later when Alex and Brianna had gone to sleep in the hotel, leaving Roger and Claire alone with the records and fuzzy xeroxes they had managed to amass in their search for Jamie Fraser. 

Claire sighed and drank some of the whiskey that Roger had offered them, but only Claire took. Brianna only being twenty and Alex fifteen. 

"I honestly wouldn't have wanted to do it any time. But Frank passed away. Car accident on an icy road. No one could have predicted it.” Claire’s mouth wobbled, but she didn’t cry. She only took another sip of the whiskey to push the fresh grief away. 

“We were sorry to hear of his passing. My father was saddened to hear of it. He always held him in high esteem.”

Roger added delicately, unsure of what else to say in such a delicate situation.

“He was. We had our disagreements, but in the end, he was my husband and we loved each other. If he hadn’t died...We wouldn;t be here. And I wouldn’t have looked for Jamie. No. Alex just lost his father. Brianna just found out the man she loved as a father really isn't. It would have been a shock that I would have much rather not inflicted on them."

Roger nodded, taking a sip of his own drink. He had been a bystander and seen it all. Brianna's and Alex's shock. The story that followed after. The list of officers. The slim hope that Jamie Fraser might, just might, be alive and available to her. 

"If we find him, would you go back?"

That was the crux of the matter. Could she?

Claire put her glass down and rubbed her face. 

"I don't know. I wish I could say yes for sure. But Alex is here. And he's all I have left of Frank. And I did love him. I did."

~*~*~*~

"Mom!" 

Claire turned around in time to see Brianna in the bright lime green dress they had seen in the boutique. The colour made her blink, but Alex's outfit made her snort in laughter. 

He was wearing what she was sure was “Colonial woodworker” at the costume shop. Something a teenage boy would think was suitable to go back into the past for sure. Nothing like what she had seen the young men in France and Scotland wear. 

"It's all the costume shop had." He grumbled self-consciously, clapping a hand on his hat to keep it from flying away as he bounded over to her. 

“I can tell. But why did you get it? And why is Bree wearing that eyesore?” Claire asked, barely containing the hysterical laughter bubbling up in her chest. 

“That’s the only Jessica Gutenberg they had in my size.” Bree cut in, her voice a grumble as she plucked at her lime green skirt.

“Right. You both still haven’t answered my question. Why are you dressed like that?” Claire pressed, comprehension dawning on her as she looked at the costumes her children were wearing.

"We decided, Bree and me. If you don't go, we go. You've gone too far to not see it through."

Alex explained, making Claire blink with emotion. 

"Oh Alex. I can't leave you! You're still so young! I can't leave you behind!"

Alex shook his head and clasped her hands. 

"No mom. You have to go. I know how much you miss Dad after he died. If you can be happy again...You should. I'll be okay. I had you for this long. Dad had you for this long, you both loved me and raised me well. Bree and Joe and Roger are with me if you go. I'll be okay. It's time. So go."

Alex hugged her roughly before letting her go, his eyes suspiciously bright as he let her go. 

"Go mom. Find him." Brianna added, giving Claire one last hug before stepping back and leaving Claire standing alone. 

As much as she was still conflicted, her mind was made up. Alex's words had given her that last bit of courage she needed to take that last step. It would hurt and she would miss him, but at least there was no bitterness left in him or in her memories of Frank. 

It hadn't been the same when she came back, but they had managed to build a new life and raised two wonderful children as well. The proof of it standing there, waiting for her to start the new chapter of her life.

She was free.

It only took her a few moments before she climbed towards Craigh Na Dun and into her new life.


End file.
